ADD Fighter

I decided today that I was going to start a blog. I even came up with a name for it – Scrambled Brains and Coffee. Then…I realized…I already have a blog with that title.

Welcome to my scrambled brain.

Some people picture ADD as someone who can’t sit still, is prone to violent outbursts, and is always in “go” mode, but that’s not always true. ADD looks different for every single person, and is VERY different from male to female.

I was diagnosed in my early thirties when we were in the middle of acquiring a diagnosis for my son. Talk about all the puzzle pieces falling into place! So many things from my past finally just made sense. It was like a huge curtain had been drawn back so I could see my reality vs. the reality I had been led to believe by those who knew me.

If I had only known then…

For me, ADD is like having 200+ web browser tabs open in my brain at all times. What are we going to eat for dinner today? Did I mail that letter I was supposed to mail last week? Halloween is in a few months, should we start planning? I know it’s only May, but where are we going for Christmas this year? Did Gavin take his meds today? I wonder if I remembered to put the clothes in the washing machine in the dryer? Did I take my meds today? That spot on the pavement outside looks funny. What should I watch on TV tonight? And on…and on…and on.

My brain never stops and most of my times is spent trying to sort my thoughts so I can get something done.

Not fun.

On top of the constant thinking, I never finish anything. Or it’s a very rare occurrence, at the least.

My one proudest accomplishment would be going back to school to complete my GED in 2015. This was a HUGE step for me because I did not have any confidence in myself that I could do it and I was scared to death! But I did it. I took the prep classes and I passed my GED testing with flying colors. I even acquired 99% on the written portion! After I got my GED, I took a couple of college courses and loved them. I’ve always said that if I ever won the lottery I would become a lifetime student, and I mean it. I love sitting in a classroom and learning new things. There’s no better feeling for me. And now that I know I have ADD and I am taking medication for it, the learning comes so much easier.

The biggest thing I’ve learned since my diagnosis is to not let it hold me back. Because I have ADD, I have to work harder and fight for the things I want because they will never come easily to me. And I am definitely a fighter.